I booked our trip to Hawaii almost a year before we took it. I had no idea at the time how much it would be needed.
Due to circumstances in the last few months, I have been dealing with some severe anxiety. (don’t worry, I am under a doctor’s care 😉 ) Most days, I do ok with it. My kids get to where they need to go, they’re fed, clean clothes, and happy. Pretty much what matters. Some days are harder than others. In December, my kids had a piano recital. I made it through alright, but it took all I had not to bolt from being in public (we left fairly quickly though!)
I did pretty well with Christmas – being with my family seems to center me.
January provided its ups and downs.
Then we went to Hawaii. It seemed to totally center me and bring my focus back to what is important. It was the first full week in months that I had NO problems with anxiety. It was pure bliss.
When we got home…. Well, has just been quite the week. We lost 6 people that we knew (all different reasons). Then yesterday, we got some unexpected/less than ideal news (having to do with the circumstance we’ve been dealing with the last few months). Then that school shooting.
Yesterday was just a bit much for me. However, I didn’t experience the severe anxiety that I had been – don’t get me wrong, it was there, but it was manageable. I simply did not watch the news (it was just too much. Too much emotion. I would have been a crying mess) and went to bed extra early – who says mom can’t go to sleep at 8:30? I was exhausted from the news of the day, plus I was up with a coughing child and a restless child the night before.
Today, I am doing ok. I still want to burst into tears if I hear/watch the news, but otherwise coping well.
Apparently, Hawaii was the medicine I needed. I guess the Lord knew when I booked the trip almost a year previously how much I would need it.
Which makes me wonder if I am going to “need” to go back in a month or two. This circumstance will not be resolved for quite awhile, and I may need to re-center again… I mean it’s better than medication, isn’t it?!?! Wonder if I can get my doctor to write a prescription for “Vacation in Hawaii” and my insurance will pay for it?? HAHAHA! I think it was the dedicated week with just my family. No work. No school. No schedule. No news. Just us and having fun together.
In the meantime, I am coping by planning our next big trip this summer and looking at land online to build our new house! (I’ve found several possibilities!!) Nothing like dreaming big to take my mind off things!
