Today is my birthday. I’m supposed to be in Disneyland. I even bought myself a new dress for the occasion, and if you know me, I never do that! We’d been counting down the days until we leave for months!
We really enjoyed the first week of the kids having no school. It was sunny and warm outside. We would take walks (with no other people around) and play in the backyard. I let the kids do whatever they wanted for the most part. It was pretty wonderful!
We created our own Disneyland in the backyard. It was so much fun to create those memories as a family. (Watch them on YouTube, if interested). I hope it’s days like that my kids always remember from their childhood.
Then this week. It has been colder, dark, and rainy. This usually doesn’t bother me, but it has made me depressed this week. No playing outside with the kids.
I have been on the edge of tears the entire week. I was supposed to have just spent a few days in Yosemite, Sequoia, and Kings Canyon National Parks. Then spending a week at my favorite place: Disneyland (or World. I’m not picky. I love them both).
I have been trying to focus on all the positives. We are healthy. I have 6 wonderful children. Joseph has been working from home for 5 years, so nothing has changed much – other than the kids being home. It’s like summer. We have employment. We have food storage (and TP! ha!). I have been working hard on my own side gig and it has been paying off (well, it was before all this, and hopefully, once over, it will bounce back – I have some awesome things planned for the summer!)
But sometimes, it’s ok not to be ok. I know I am blessed. However, I can still be sad and depressed. I can still be disappointed. I can still be mad and upset about everything. It doesn’t mean I feel any less blessed, but simply upset over current situations.
I am blessed and I am also sad and depressed about things right now. I know its temporary, but I hate not knowing how long it will last. When will life get back to normal? When can I travel and go to Disney again? How long will this sadness stick around? I had already been having a hard year (since our failed move – which I used that sadness to fuel growing my side gig) and I just want to be “normal” again…
So how was this birthday? Well, I’m not at Disney. My 3 favorite restaurants are closed (on Wednesdays or because of the current situation), so I couldn’t even get take out of my favorite food. The state parks and beaches – no go. So I’m home all day. The kids behaved. Joseph made a delicious dinner and dessert. I am very blessed. But still… Sad…
Now Disneyland – PLEASE reopen by April 20th, so we can go before the kids go back to school. (otherwise, it has to wait until the end of August because I’m sure taking them out of school for a trip after they’ve been out so long would probably be frowned upon… and waiting that long would really, really suck…)
